Songs

What's Really in my Hot Dog?

A while back I opened up the floor to suggestions for a new Ridiculous Rap and got over 200 suggestions. That thread originally lead to "Gravity Is Stupid" but because there were so many great ideas in there I decided to bookmark it and revisit it to do more of them. This is one such song.

Insane Ian suggested: "You're a hot dog and you're mad at Steve Goodie for describing you wrong."

Lyrics

Hot dogs! Get your dogs here! Thick, plump, juicy hot dogs
like grandma used to make. Ignore what that bum Steve Goodie says.

Steve Goodie wrote a song and I'll be ringin' his neck
'Cause he got it all wrong and now I feel the effect
And if you've not heard of him that would please me much
'Cause he just writes stupid songs about cheese and such
He wrote about hot dogs and what's inside
And while he's not wrong that's what I can't abide
It's lazy songwriting if you get my gist
He just got the ingredients and read the list
And I happen to be a hot dog so I'm writing
In my blog a rebuttal that is scathing and biting
Steve, what you did was just ruin the fun
Like a magician who reveals how the trick is done

[chorus]
I'm a hot dog (what!) pick me up at the store
Full of sodium and lecithin and so much more
I'm a hearty all-American symbol of pride
So forget what's inside, never mind what's inside (repeat)

Where my dogs at?
Where my dogs at?
Where my buns at?
And where the toppings at?!

I'm a hot dog, and damn-right I'm delicious
Even if some ingredients might be suspicious, but listen
I'm here to say there's more to me inside
Than mechanically separated meat in a hide
Inside me, and this is where it gets wild
Are the hopes and dreams of each American child
They say behind every great man a great woman stands
And she's got a hot dog in each one of her hands
I was with Washington across the Delaware
I helped when the Allies took out Hitler's secret lair
I was with the boys fighting Charlie in 'Nam
And I guarantee that I have been inside your Mom
And like Americans, some are fat and some leaner
But Steve, I didn't say that you could play with my wiener
Luckily for you hot dogs last forever
So we'll never fall victim to your futile endeavor
(chorus)