Songs

Just for You

Dating is hard. I was never good at it. And I'm glad I don't have to do it today with all the technology and the swipe-right or whatever. I just don't get it.

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Lyrics

(v1)
There you are, I see you at the bar, lookin' like
A movie star, I don't know who you are, but I'm psyched
At the chance, to get to meet you, maybe go out
And dance, if only I could reach you I'd have a chance
At the answer I'm hopin' we can reach tonight
Like an infected toenail I'm-a treat you right
But how do I prove that I'm a stud, not a dud?
In my grade school days I would just push you in the mud
It's not my style to just invite you to my loft
When you look at me and smile I just turn my head and cough
Hmm, I know, I'll just bump you from behind
Like it was an accident, then you'll be as good as mine
And it worked, I feel like a jerk, but your number's
In my cell, and it seems to me that the only
Way to tell you exactly what you mean to me
Is to show you

(ch 1)
So here's a picture of my dick, for you
Here's a picture of my dick, for you
It's a mighty fine one and if you're inclined
Then it'll make your dreams come true
It's a picture of my dick, for you
Here's a picture of my dick, for you
It's a way to mention all my good intentions
And I shared it just for you
It's a picture of my dick
It's a picture of my dick

(v2)
So there it is, the thing that I use to take a whiz
Thought it really isn't huge I'll bet it's bigger than his
So tell me what's left to choose, let's just get down to biz
There's no way that you can lose 'cause I'm the best that there is
All the pink and purple hues that are juxtaposed against
The faded blue tattoos make the contrast intense
The dynamic composition complements my styled hair
But hmm, I don't remember that mole being there
Oh never mind, the story it tells is full of win
Marvel at it's glory! Take it all in!
And come with me, for this is the part you'll be enjoying
You can see that I've mastered the art of the boing
At attention like a guard, standing proud
And tall like a mushroom in the yard, it's exquisite
But is it overdone? I'm not sure, to be safe
Here's another one.

(ch 2)
Another picture of my dick, for you
Another picture of my dick, for you
It's a different angle and my balls are spangled
And I dyed my hair light blue
It's a picture of my dick, for you
Another picture of my dick, for you
I got a whole collection from my last erection
And I chose one just for you
It's a picture of my dick
It's a picture of my dick

(v 3)
Several hours go by and I get no reply
And now I'm wondering why
Is she out with some friends, or home sick with the bends
Or did the picture not send?
This is taking forever, we'd be perfect together!
Or you know like whatever
Then my phone finally beeps, at her answer I peep
'Stay away from me, creep!'

Hah, yeah, I should've known.

(v4)
So what's the deal? I thought we'd go out and grab a meal
Did you not get the picture? Don't you see the appeal?
Was it not everything that you would want it to be?
Is it 'cause I only have two balls and not three?
I don't understand. You're a woman. I'm a man.
We've got interlocking parts and they go hand-in-hand
Well, penis-in-vagina, if you want to be specific
So I thought I'd try yours, figured it would be terrific
Then again, maybe not, I can do the math
I'm a ten, you're a good solid six and a half
And if you're not into what I put on display
Then I'm out, 'cause you're probably a whore anyway
I sent you a selfie taken by my little friend
It's a beauty, and I even let him push send
And you just shot him down, oh wait, then again
There's a message coming in'

(ch 3)
It's a picture of a dick, for me
Here's a picture of a dick, for me
It's all fat and hairy and the balls are scary
And it's pointed right at me
It's a picture of a dick, for me
Here's a picture of a dick, for me
It's the last contender from what guys have sent her
And she chose it just for me
It's a picture of a dick. I did not want this.
It's a picture of a dick. Why would she think I'd want a picture of some dude's junk?

Man, I do not understand women.

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