Songs

Dinky McDiddlyboots

In September of 2015 Tim Crist, aka Shoebox of Worm Quartet, posted the following to my wall on Facebook:

Your name is now Dinky McDiddlyboots. I apologize for any inconvenience.

What followed was a brief discussion about the possibilities of rhymes for my new name and what could be done in a song. This is what I ultimately came up with.

Lyrics

I'm a Hip Hop maven, rhymes that I'm cravin'
Beard with the lines that I'm shavin'
Weird, but at times I'm amazin', not to be
Feared, but sometimes I think I'm kinda crazy
Lazy, sit around the house eatin' popcorn
Mouse button clickin' on a picture full of hot porn
Pickin' up laundry, fold what is not torn
Find a pair of underwear there that I've not worn
Got a name that the rap game gave me
Crowds shout it loud while they clap and are raving
Proud of the rowdiness happening daily
Cloud-nine rhymes 'cause I'm frakkin' amazing
Till one day when a strange man changed it
Willed his way and his brain now reigns it
Chains my name to this wack identity
While he's out back playing Pac-Man and Centipede

My name is Dinky McDiddlyboots
My music is plinky and Ritalin-fused
Ned Flanders thinks in "diddly-doos"
But I'm MC Dinky McDiddlyboots
My name is Dinky McDiddlyboots
My music is plinky and Ritalin-fused
Pac-Man eats Inky and Blinky and fruits
But I'm MC Dinky McDiddlyboots

Now I gotta make changes to everything
Every song's wrong so the files will never ping
Miles of lyrics to compile with a clever string
While I clear it with Google and even Bing
And because of this stupid jerk I have to
Update all my paperwork, great, now I'm late for work
Name on my licenses changed to reflect it
Drivers, marriage, and bikini inspector's
My whole life's turned upside-down
I obliged this clown and my wife skipped town
And I found at work they would leave me out of meetings
But call me all day to play voicemail greetings
This may be his crowning achievement
I'm drowning in spite but I try to be lenient
I've seen it, this may sound trite but I mean it
This really is quite inconvenient

My name is Dinky McDiddlyboots
My music is plinky and Ritalin-fused
Ned Flanders thinks in "diddly-doos"
But I'm MC Dinky McDiddlyboots
My name is Dinky McDiddlyboots
My music is plinky and Ritalin-fused
Shoebox is a big mean stinkety poop
Now I'm MC Dinky McDiddlyboots