Why Can't I Shoot The Dog?
Brian and I wanted to do a song together for a while but didn't have any ideas for anything. Finally he suggested doing a song about not being able to shoot the dog on Duck Hunt and the rest just fell into place.
Listen Now
Lyrics
At first it was fine and quite a bit fun
A new NES with a cool light gun
But I'm not huntin' no bear or buck
No, I'm gonna bwast me a kwazy duck
Now I got all that I need for the hunt
A little duck call and a big shotgun
And a dog that will bring 'em all back to me
It's like a Soviet duck killing factory
I wish I could pick up chicks half this easy
My dog is so loyal it's almost sleazy
Then like a bad Bruce Willis film
I spent eighty-four shots, and not one kill
... is he laughing at me?
He is, the freakin' dog's laughing at me!
You little bitch, get your ass over here
So I can stick my gun up your stuck up rear
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
(shoot that pooch like Turner & Hooch)
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
(strangle that mutt like jabba the hut)
You know my doggicide
Is hella justified
That canine by nine mili
Dustified
MY gun is loaded and my aim is true
but like a ghost dog, shots pass right through
YOU remain giggly and jollical
'Cause like The Flash vibrates his molecules,
Solid matter has no effect on thee
Are you the son of god or an SOB?
You belong in a doggie bag
But you live and you laugh and wag
Your tail and bark so i see
Your apparent immunity
I may be blocked, but I know A GUY
With the skills to make YOU DIE
Of life you'll be BEREFT
I SENTENCE YOU TO SUDDEN DEATH
It may be trite but it don't seem right
That I'm getting made fun of by an eight-bit sprite
So we'll see who's laughing on the screen
When I upgrade the gun to an M-16
*rapid clicks* this ain't the first time
I've killed animals in a game of mine
The bird in Track and Field was a lucky shot
But when Frogger pissed me off I fed him to a croc
It may seem sick but it sure is fun
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun
But I'm not the one who will sit and beg
And be sexually aroused by another man's leg
So twenty years later I've hacked the game
Now the world of Duck Hunt will never be the same
The dog will think twice before he laughs again
'Cause I put a big target on his furry rear end
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
(shoot that pooch like turner & hooch)
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
(strangle that mutt like jabba the hut)
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
(sabbotage that cur like a sabotuer)
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
(and pound that hound into the ground)
WHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG
FROM NOW ON, I'M ANALOOOOUGE
